Wednesday, December 21, 2011

So This One Time, Korn Were Sitting In A Field...



Yes really.
This is the second time I've posted something Korn-related actually. I don't even listen to them all that much!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Nervous Tissue



...nothing like a Biology class to get my creativity on a roll...

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Saturday, September 10, 2011

NOW THERE'S A PICTURE.

LOOK AT THAT.
I AM A PHOTOSHOP WIZARD.

...ha. Not really.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Being a rebel in the back of Tech Drawing.

I don't even do tech drawing. I do Home Ec, and a godforsaken subject it is.
Our teacher is doing something with the TYs today, and she just gave us work to do on some sheets, exam papers and stuff.
I tell ya, there's a fine art to typing quietly in this room. You have to wait for the occasional clamber of t-squares and drawing boards to get a few words in quickly.

I should do my Home Ec, but I can't concentrate on it. I'll probably do it at home, or in study... I have till Thursday, but with me I might as well have all year because I WILL end up leaving it until the night before.

I'm just talking about nothing now, sorry about that.

I would love a cup of tea. I had some this morning but I don't even remember drinking it. I remember waking up at three minutes to six, and my alarm didn't sound the first time, it just vibrated. Weird.

Teacher left, gonna get some typing in now.

I would very much appreciate a pot of Earl Grey tea with some jaffa cakes. Or fig rolls. Locate me and deliver, yo. I'm doing a little Home Ec, as in I look down at the page every so often and write about three words. I did say a little...

Twenty minutes until lunch. I'll give you a sat nav for that tea if you want.
Please?

EDIT: Theres a computer at the top of the room running Windows Server 2000. Wow.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

What I Really Learned In School Today


... playing mental scrabble with the Periodic Table is fun, but probably won't get me an A1 in Biology.


Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Spider.

A single word started the panic.
Spider.
The utterance of the word and the flick of a finger in the direction of the ceiling was enough to tell me that an eight-legged intruder was watching, waiting, and that action had to be taken.

Though I was shaken from the mere realisation of the beast's presence, I clambered up the stairs to retrieve my bristle-ended weapon - the sweeping brush. I picked it up carefully, as though its overwhelming spider-repelling powers might mistake me for a web-spinner. I gripped it firmly, and slowly, carefully, made my way back down the stairs. Each step became a mile, and beads of cold sweat began to form on my brow.

I poked the door of the kitchen open with the end of the brush, to discover that a single thread was hanging from the ceiling, a little heavy with dust. It was odd, it had clearly hung for a few days, at the very least, but had escaped my notice until that moment. I moved forward, counting my steps in my head, as though doing otherwise would cause the spider to go into a frenzy.

I reached my target. The arachnid's six eyes burned into me, as though it knew what I was about to do. I braced myself, grabbed the handle of the brush and swept at the monster, missing at first, but hitting with the second blow. Then, I realised that something wasn't quite right. The spider was no longer on the ceiling, but had not fallen to the floor either.
He could only have held to the end of my weapon. I knew that the brush was useless now, I threw it across the room, screeching a war cry and seeking higher ground.

I know not where he has gone, but I did not see him emerge from the end of the brush. As I type, I am taking refuge kneeling on a kitchen chair, reacting sharply to the smallest movement or ticklish sensation. I may have lost this battle, but the war is far from over.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Chester's Nose

Before I lose this picture and the whole Chester's Nose thing fades into obscurity, I'm posting it here. I present to you, Chester Bennington's Nose:

There's a good chance that I need professional help.

If Sean Smith Just Grew His Hair A Little More...

I don't think Jedward would be too impressed...

The more I look at this, the more I think "Oh God, what have I done?"

Saturday, July 9, 2011

CSI: Las Vegas, V.2

My friend recently acquired the CSI Las Vegas Season 1 boxset, so much watching had to happen. However, we have some new, possibly more fitting names, for the cast.

Catherine is:

Warick is:

Nick is:

Greg is:

Brass is:

Sara is:

Dr Robbins is:

And of course...

Grissom is:

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Some Career Guidance

I now present to you, CAREER GUIDANCE! As taught by my teacher.

STEM SUBJECTS. ESS. TEA. EE. EM.

GO WHERE THE JOBS ARE.
If they're there now they'll absolutely be there when you leave college!

FOLLOW YOUR PASSION.
But remember, it's not a hobby. You can't possibly make money from something you enjoy too much!

Know what you want to do?
NO YOU DON'T!
YOU WANT TO BE AN ENGINEER.
"But I like writing-"
ENGINEER.
NOW GET ENGINEING.

NFQNFQNFQNFQNFQNFQNFQNFQNFQ

"Your project is due next week."
"....what project?"
"The project I told you to do last year that I haven't mentioned since to give you the impression that you didn't have to do it anymore!"

"Miss, I want to be an actress."
"Go for it! Spend lots of time on it! You go be a good engineer."
"...actress."

Now, I want you all to pick ONE CAREER. You're in fifth year, so you only have a whole year to change your mind, but you're not likely to! Write up a big project that will take up time you could be using to study important subjects or do other homework, and take this very seriously! Don't do something you don't want to do!


"...what?"

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Mayonnaise IS An Instrument


Google translate has spoken.



Okay, so I've been posting this picture everywhere, but it's really something else. I'm sure Patrick would approve.
...too shocking methinks.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

OH HOLY DAISIES I HAVE 20 FOLLOWERS!

IT HAPPENED! I have 20 followers! HOLY CYCLOPS GRASS SEED SPORTS!
*tears up*
I don't know what to say... I really, really *blows nose*

You'll be amused to know that I almost spelled it 'knose'.

In celebration of this, I present to you a picture of this special tree.
It hasn't always been like that though. It was blown over like that in a storm late last year, and it's just been chillin' at a 45 degree angle to the ground ever since.

I mean, like, who doesn't like chillin' at a 45 degree angle to the floor? It was one of Michael Jackson's favourite pastimes...

Yes, I do plan to post stuff more often. Goodness knows what, but it will be soon. I can't take drawing on the trackpad anymore, and I haven't the funds for a drawing tablet, so there could be some hand-drawn goodness on the way.
...soon.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I'M ALIVE! and other stories

By Foots Buddhist Angleson.
(if you get the funny, I'll give you m.....any congratulations)

Oh look, a completely text-based post, the horror!

Let me tell you interesting facts.
I learned more Home Economics from an episode of Masterchef than I did in the last four months of Home Economics class.

True story.


Well now.

I just wanted to say that I'm alive, and that I'll be posting regularly again soon. It's just that... life called, and I'm in need of inspiration, which I feel is going to hit me like a brick to the face.



I lied about having no pictures this time around.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Unikorns and a Merry Sunday


A friend of mine posted on facebook the question 'Why is a unicorn not called a uniHORN or something?'

Okay okay, so the old word for horn is cornus, but that takes the fun out of it.

They're clearly into nu metal.


Heh.

What else? Oh yeah...
I'd like to wish everyone a Merry Sunday and a Happy New School Term! Not something to excited about, but it means easter and summer breaks are closer, right?

Now, I'm off for Sunday Breakfast, which is always egg, and which is always awesome.



Friday, February 25, 2011

Four Word Sentence Fun Part 4!

It's that time again! Time for Four Word Sentence Fun! When people throw four letters at me, and I make them into a not-so-amazing sentence!

Credit to Audrey and Colour Me Frosted for making this episode possible!



FOUR - Funny Oranges Under Rocks




WOGW - Wings On Green Walls




WORD - Wild Orchids Ruin Dreams



I probably need more tea today.

Leave a comment to suggest some letters!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Four Word Sentence Fun Part 3!


It's that time again again! Time for Four Word Sentence Fun! Where... yadda yadda four letters... yadda yadda not-so-amazing sentence!

Credit to Amy, Sarah and Ogden for making this episode possible!


KHY7 - Killer Heatwave: Year 7


FGHJ - Four Girls Holding Jam


*drum roll*

XQZX - Xanthosis Queen Zaps Xenophobe


Want to suggest a random combination of four letters? Leave a comment!


EDIT: It has been brought to my attention that I completely failed, and probably made the last one much more difficult for myself because I was thinking phonetically. So to make up for it:


EDIT2: Nevermind, I just typoified. It WAS XQZX.

Four Word Sentence Fun Part 2!

It's that time again! Time for Four Word Sentence Fun! When people throw four letters at me, and I make them into a not-so-amazing sentence!

Credit to Ogden and James for suggesting random letters and making this episode possible!




PLOP - People Lying On Plastic



IRIS - I Run In Stars
Even though it looks like half a dance.



Want to suggest a combination of four letters? Leave a comment! :D

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Four Word Sentence Fun!

It's that time, Ladies and Gentlemen! It's time for Four Word Sentence Fun! When people throw four letters at me, and I make them into a not-so-amazing sentence!



OFHE - Orange Flamingoes Hate Eggs




DESK - Don't Eat Square Koalas



Want to suggest an amazing combination of four letters? Leave a comment!
(Thanks to Ally for suggesting the letters! :D)

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Help Me Buy A Drawing Tablet!

...this isn't what I had in mind.

But really, it would be great stuff. I use the trackpad of my laptop, and it can be pretty frustrating and slow to use sometimes. As well as that, I'm not actually as bad at drawing as illustrations have shown.

If, with your help, I manage to scrape together the money for a drawing tablet I PROMISE TO DRAW:

1. Awesome stuff for you
2. Perfect double rainbows
3. Mona Lisa
4. Detailed teaspoons.
5. A giraffe eating a flamingo eating a walrus.

So go on. Help me out!
There's no fixed donation amount, so you can even just throw in a few cent if you want... :D

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Simple Hat Lady


The phrase 'Simple Hat Lady' can be used in so many different ways.
For example:




......and this one.


(I didn't intend for the actual Simple Hat Lady to look Scottish.)

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Why I Never Get Anything Done: Part 1.







I Added Ads. And Here's Some Art.

Why? Because I can. And I just want to give you a little heads up about them.

Since I'm a secondary student without a great deal of money to spend on books and stuff, I thought I'd add them just to bring in a few sheckles. However, don't feel sorry for me and repeatedly click the ads, because I'll probably be done for Click Fraud, and that's not good.

So, if you see something that interests you vaguely, give it a click. If not, don't bother. As an advanced thank-you gift, here's some modern art by yours truly.



We will now return to our regularly scheduled programs.