Sunday, January 9, 2011

I DON'T WANT AN ALPACA!

The other night my mum was watching Horse & Country channel, though I'm not exactly sure why. We don't have a horse, and we don't live in the country. Go figure.
Anyway, this ad for alpacas came on, showing alpacas frolicking in fields, and the narrator was saying things like 'Do you want an alpaca? Do you want to be an alpaca farmer? Contact this number today!'

Me: Was that an ad for alpacas?
Mum: Yes. Do you want one?
Me: No!
Mum: Awh why not?
Me: Well, I just don't. We have a dog and that's plenty.
Mum: But they're all cute and cuddly and grass-eating!
Me: I DON'T WANT AN ALPACA!

"But why don't you want an alpaca? They're cute and fuzzy and adorable, like a llama!", you might say.

Cute like a llama...

...right?

I'm not convinced, nor was I ever. Alpacas are evil, and that's the end of it.
Behind those calm, cute exteriors lie killing machines of untold power. I mean, look at those necks! It's like a sheep mated with a giraffe! And if that's not unnatural (and rather difficult) then I don't know what is.
I don't believe the whole 2012 thing, but if the world is going to end in some bizarre way, it'll be because of these guys. They're plotting, scheming, worming their way into the farms of unsuspecting people. Goodness knows what they'll do next.

The Wicked Witch Of The West's got nothing on these

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